So just think for a second, what ever you do will one day fall into an abyss that is smiling at our destruction, and as our walls that we have worked so hard to make stand over our own just to say that we’re better. Any one you meet good or bad, evil or pure, elegant or awestruck will fall into a bleak hole of hardship before their life force gives way to an oppressive force jumping on our backs. I do believe we will all die with out know what it is to be happy, to know true love, to hold obsolete power, and to know what it truly means to bring life into this world.

Some think when a baby is born that they will forge their own destiny into the stone of this world, or that they will have to fight to eat and thrive like rats, or that they are gifts from God or for God maybe even both, or even that they are born to die, we may even been created to protect the world or to destroy it. What are we doing? How are we doing it? Why are we doing it? Why do we abuse sex? Why do we cherish newly wed and born? And what belief is right?

I what to become what some know as a scholar, but I have passion for music and art and drama, not to mention a whole world in my mind that I don’t want to fade into dust under this chaotic world, I haven’t even started my journey and I’m already corrupted. Such is the fate of man, or am I even a man? What’s to say that I’m some kind of demon? Or an elf? What just because I have the same blood I have to be the same all the way though? And where does it say that different non-human races have to have human blood or their aliens? Maybe we are the aliens? Rise from a world of nature and destroy its beauty.

In a nut shell I believe that there are things better than humans and that we haven’t even found them. What ever we are doing, we’re doing it wrong.

How will I prove my madness? With research and dreams, yes dreams will fold a story of this world to me, Dante did the same he woke with a dream-nah a vision were a man had to descend the eight levels of hell, and how can you prove him wrong? Which of you have descended to hell and are still here to tell the tale?

Sadly I feel as if I have been infected with a world I have wished for so long, a world of magic and un-explainable happenings.

This may be the easier thing to explain; when I am in deep focus my eyes go green, and when I am sexually intrigued my eyes go blue, and they mix. This may be simple to explain and I apologize for giving a simple situation but maybe as my research develops I may have answers or disproves that will counter this rant.

Me and my colleague doing research; He is doing research on chaos magic and I will be doing research on demon mythology, although we did not agree to be partners, we both share passion on those topic, and I believe that if I ask him for all his findings I will rob him of said passion, he is my best friend, I wish not to rob any thing from such a colleague and equal.